Thankful. . . .

Thank you for being so confused about us that it made me be crystal clear. 

Thank you for being so selfish that some of it rubbed off on me and I've discovered that I, too matter. 

Thank you for being so cruel that I saw who you really are; it makes walking away easier. 

Thank you for being so distant that I remembered I can walk this journey alone. 

Thank you for being so cold that I created my own warmth. 

Thank you for treating me as if I were invisible because it made me show up in more vibrant ways.

Thank you for the broken pieces of you that I cut myself on, for those scars will be tender places I never allow to be ripped open again. 

Thank you for throwing me to the ground, shattering me, for it has allowed me to piece myself together in a truly unique, beautiful way.

Thank you for making me question my self-worth, for now I'm certain I'm worth more than you can afford.

Thank you for abandoning me just when I needed you the most, for its forced me to be my own hero. I'll never rely on another for that ever again. 

Thank you for being the catalyst for the change I've so desperately needed but never realized until you held up that mirror and shined such a bright spotlight on all my flaws. 

Yes, in the end. . . . .I'm thankful for the destruction you brought to my life, for I know that a Phoenix rises from the ashes and that stars are created from what SEEMS like the most destructive force in the universe. 

Life in "Perfect": The Evolution of My Apology

Life in "Perfect": The Evolution of My Apology: I was sorry that I hadn't met you sooner, Unable to love you when you were younger, less jaded.  I was sorry that I couldn't earn ...

The Evolution of My Apology

I was sorry that I hadn't met you sooner,

Unable to love you when you were younger, less jaded. 

I was sorry that I couldn't earn your trust, 

Someone must have really hurt you before. 

I was sorry that you were so fragile,

I knew I needed to handle you with care.

I was sorry that no matter how delicate I was,

Those broken pieces of you never healed.

I was sorry that I was always so careful,

Carelessness remained your default.

I was sorry that I didn't know what I was doing,

While you are a professional dater.

I was sorry that I was so naive, vulnerable and open,

Thinking I needed to be more like you.

I am sorry that I loved you, 

While you barely tolerated me. 

I am sorry that I thought I could care enough for both of us,

Not understanding that that's where I was doomed to fail.

I am sorry that I saw only the best in you, 

While I was invisible to you, never seen at all. 

I am sorry that I overvalued you, 

Being so undervalued myself.

I am sorry that I cherished every moment with you, 

All you did was take me for granted. 

I am sorry that I made you a priority, 

When I was barely an option in your mind. 

I am sorry that my light shines so brightly, 

All that was left for you were the shadows. 

I am sorry that you prefer the shadows, 

Never embracing my light. 

I am sorry that I wanted to help you,

Not recognizing how you relish the brokenness. 

I am sorry that I wasted so much time trying to build you up,

In that same time, you were tearing me down.

I am sorry that I never wanted to give up, 

Not accepting that you never gave in.

I am sorry that I thought I wasn't enough for you, 

All the while I was "too much".

I am sorry that you want less,

Here I sit, only knowing how to give it my all. 

I am sorry that I believed in you, 

I believed in the facade.

I am sorry that I took it so seriously,

While you thought of me as such a joke.

I am sorry that I trusted you, 

When all you knew how to do was lie. 

I am sorry that you'll never know what true love is, 

You're too busy hating yourself. 

I am sorry that I tried to tell you so much,

Knowing now that you were never listening. 

I am sorry that my pain was such an imposition,

The pain you so carelessly inflicted. 

I'm sorry that I didn't see it sooner, 

So much time wasted. 

I'm sorry that I'll never be able to reach you, 

Your armor so thick, your intense protection, impenetrable. 

I'm sorry that I'm so stupid,

Never wanting to believe who you really are.

I'm sorry that it's taken me this long to realize, 

I have nothing to be sorry for.