Flawless.......

You have those friends and/or family, right?  Those people who NEVER seem to have anything bad happen to them.  The ones who actually get money sent to them in the mail FROM the insurance company and when they call them, the insurance company says "Well, we don't know why it's yours, but it's yours.  Enjoy!"  Hm.  Let me think?  Um, yeah...no.  That shit never happens to me.  I'm the one who gets double and triple billed for the same item and when I complain, I get told "Oh sorry.  No refunds."  WHAT!!

These same people are the people who can lie and cheat and steal and still get ahead.  These people are the ones that other people say things about like "Oh she'll get hers one day." and "What goes around comes around!"  Funny thing though.....it doesn't.  I've never seen anything bad happen to these people.  No, they're the ones who get new, high paying jobs in the middle of the worst economy in decades.  These people have more friends than you can shake a stick at.  These people seem to have everyone BEGGING to be a part of their lives.  They're magnets.

Magnets for goodness and prosperity.  Magnets for fun and friends.  Magnets for happiness and "the good life".  Why?  Why is it that good, kind hearted people always seem to be the ones that get shit on?  How is it that these "flawless" people never get caught in their lies?  Why is it so hard for the rest of us, flawed people, to even imagine that the "flawless" one could be, well, flawed?  Is it more them or us?  Do we WANT there to be "perfect" people in Perfect?  Is it comforting us in some sick twisted way?  Do we find it something to strive for?  Perhaps.

I, however, have learned that these "flawless" people, tend to be cold hearted and fake.  I've seen them lie to their "best friends" and never even feel guilty about it.  I've seen them be so good at lying that, even when they do get "caught" they simply talk their way out of it.  If there's one thing that they ARE  truly flawless at, it's getting away with murder.  They simply replace you with a new friend once you've caught onto their back stabbing lying ways.  I've even gone so far as to try to help other people that got sucked into the flawless abyss and help them see the flaw behind the facade.  No go.  These flawless people shine so brightly and therefore, they blind those around them.  I, myself, was blinded by that light.  I learned the hard way, that that light, was simply a distraction. A way to keep anyone from looking too closely to the "flawless one".  It's almost painful to watch, to see someone else walk down the same road you've walked down.  Waiting.  Waiting for the pain to hit them, too.

So.  Where do we stand then?  Hm.  Good question.  Several people will read this and assume that I'm jealous of said "flawless" people.  They'd be dead ass wrong, of course, but they're going to think that nonetheless.   Still others will not have any idea what I'm referring to.  Now, these folks could be in a couple of categories, 1) they've never had the "honor" of meeting a "flawless" person or 2) they are one. You see, I've also noticed that these jewels don't seem to notice themselves.  They aren't very self aware, you see.  They're very "self full", not selfISH (that's for you, my friend.  You know who you are!!)  They tend to run around with their nose so far in the air, they just don't see those little people like us, that they're crushing under their flawless feet!   I have noticed that once I removed myself from the constant "crushing", I rebounded.  I bloomed.  I flourished, even.  I grew into my own.  I felt my self worth, for the first time in years.  I didn't feel small or bad or dumb or fat (okay, well....I always feel fat, but that's another story) I didn't feel AS fat.  I felt whole.  I felt good enough.  No...actually I felt pretty damn good.

I know that I'm not flawless.  I don't want to be.  I never will be.  I'm glad for that.  Blissfully glad.  I've surrounded myself with some pretty amazing people.  Amazingly damaged people.  Amazingly honest people.  Amazingly complex, deep, self aware, patient, noble, honorable, caring, sensitive people.  They make me feel loved.  I make them feel loved.  I cherish every flaw they have.  I honor it.  I appreciate it.  I'm THANKFUL for it.  It makes them real.  It makes them genuine.  It makes them.....my friends.

Take a deep breath.......it's just another day in Perfect!!!!

Stupid Things That People Say.......

Okay, here we go again.....why, oh why, do we, as people, say such stupid ass things sometimes?  Example number one:  Time heals all wounds.  Um, yeah.  Not!!!  Time doesn't heal anything.  What DOES happen is, life takes over.  Let's be honest.  When something painful happens, you grieve.  You mourn the loss.  Then, as the days or weeks or months or years roll by, you still have to get up every day, feed yourself and your family, clean the house, go to work, do the laundry, go to kids activities, make plans, go to the store, plan birthday parties, etc.  The list is endless.  Our limited brains only allow for "so much" at once.  It is impossible to dwell on the pain every second of every day for, well, forever.  Truthfully, our brains just "get bored" with the subject at some point and that, simply put, allows us to "move on".  I know, for a fact, that when I speak of the loss of my grandfather I still hurt.  I still cry.  I still miss him.  I ache for him.  Long for his touch or voice.  I can still feel the pain, just as strongly, as if he just died.  He died when I was seven years old.  Time has NOT healed this wound.

Stupid saying number two:  God never gives us anymore than we can handle.  Dumb, dumb, dumb thing to say.  I don't know about you, but, there have been many, many times in my life where I couldn't handle all that was "given" to me.  I had to ask for help.  I had to find support systems.  Sometimes, I simply just "didn't" handle it.  I fell apart.  I lost it.  Or, I forgot to do several things during this time of "urgency".  I had to triage my life and somethings just fell by the way side.  Gasp.  Now, some of you will say that "it wasn't TOO much then, because you lived to tell the tale."  This begs the question of suicide then.  I'm in no way advocating taking ones own life.  I'm simply suggesting that, maybe, for them, it WAS TOO MUCH.  I doubt that anyone killed themselves because life was just too damn easy.  So, it begs the question---did God give them more than they could handle?

Another comment that makes me nuts is this one:  You look tired.  Now, I know, I've been guilty of saying this one, myself.  Let's be honest though.....aren't you really saying, "You look like shit!".  Perhaps.  At best you're saying, "You look bad."  Why do we say this to another person?  Now, if you know me and you know that I'm not sleeping well, or that I've been ill or that I'm under a great deal of stress, then it's "acceptable".  I'm saying that it makes me nuts when I hear someone say it to someone that they barely know.  Again, I've been guilty of this.  I immediately regret saying it.  I know that what the person I just said it to heard was:  "You look like shit.  Can you pass the sugar?"  WHAT??  It's a casual thing to say, I'll give you that.  Dumb, nonetheless.

I also can't stand it when people say that something horrible was "God's will".  Oh, this one chaps me, badly!!  I know that it's supposed to be comforting, but, if I just lost a loved one and you tell me that that was God's will; I pretty much want to punch you in the face.  Why can't we, instead, say...."Wow, that's horrible.  I know that you must be hurting right now.  What can I do to help you through this?"  Don't tell me that my loved one is "in a better place".   Yeah, that one kills me, too.  I'm a selfish person when it comes to this.  I want my grandfather back.  I don't care that it was "God's will" to take him away from me.  All that does is make me want to have some strong words with God.

I would also like to know why people ask you how you are, when they really don't care.  I mean, why is it that our society has decided to make THAT our greeting.  "Oh, hello.  How are you Sally?"  You don't care.  If Sally were to answer you honestly and tell you what's happening in her life, you'd crucify her.  You'd make fun of her.  You might even remind yourself the next time that you saw Sally to NEVER ASK HER HOW SHE IS AGAIN.   Well, I beg of you....why the hell did you ask then?

People often speak before they think.  It's true.  It's sad, but, true.  We say things that other people have said to us.  They said them, because someone said them to them before.  And so on.  I just wish that there was some way to stop all the stupidity.  Say what you mean.  Mean what you say.  Be genuine.  Be kind.  Be honest.  Be forgiving.  Be sensitive.  Otherwise----just be quiet!!!!

Take a deep breath------it's just another day in Perfect!!!!