Okay, here we go again.....why, oh why, do we, as people, say such stupid ass things sometimes? Example number one: Time heals all wounds. Um, yeah. Not!!! Time doesn't heal anything. What DOES happen is, life takes over. Let's be honest. When something painful happens, you grieve. You mourn the loss. Then, as the days or weeks or months or years roll by, you still have to get up every day, feed yourself and your family, clean the house, go to work, do the laundry, go to kids activities, make plans, go to the store, plan birthday parties, etc. The list is endless. Our limited brains only allow for "so much" at once. It is impossible to dwell on the pain every second of every day for, well, forever. Truthfully, our brains just "get bored" with the subject at some point and that, simply put, allows us to "move on". I know, for a fact, that when I speak of the loss of my grandfather I still hurt. I still cry. I still miss him. I ache for him. Long for his touch or voice. I can still feel the pain, just as strongly, as if he just died. He died when I was seven years old. Time has NOT healed this wound.
Stupid saying number two: God never gives us anymore than we can handle. Dumb, dumb, dumb thing to say. I don't know about you, but, there have been many, many times in my life where I couldn't handle all that was "given" to me. I had to ask for help. I had to find support systems. Sometimes, I simply just "didn't" handle it. I fell apart. I lost it. Or, I forgot to do several things during this time of "urgency". I had to triage my life and somethings just fell by the way side. Gasp. Now, some of you will say that "it wasn't TOO much then, because you lived to tell the tale." This begs the question of suicide then. I'm in no way advocating taking ones own life. I'm simply suggesting that, maybe, for them, it WAS TOO MUCH. I doubt that anyone killed themselves because life was just too damn easy. So, it begs the question---did God give them more than they could handle?
Another comment that makes me nuts is this one: You look tired. Now, I know, I've been guilty of saying this one, myself. Let's be honest though.....aren't you really saying, "You look like shit!". Perhaps. At best you're saying, "You look bad." Why do we say this to another person? Now, if you know me and you know that I'm not sleeping well, or that I've been ill or that I'm under a great deal of stress, then it's "acceptable". I'm saying that it makes me nuts when I hear someone say it to someone that they barely know. Again, I've been guilty of this. I immediately regret saying it. I know that what the person I just said it to heard was: "You look like shit. Can you pass the sugar?" WHAT?? It's a casual thing to say, I'll give you that. Dumb, nonetheless.
I also can't stand it when people say that something horrible was "God's will". Oh, this one chaps me, badly!! I know that it's supposed to be comforting, but, if I just lost a loved one and you tell me that that was God's will; I pretty much want to punch you in the face. Why can't we, instead, say...."Wow, that's horrible. I know that you must be hurting right now. What can I do to help you through this?" Don't tell me that my loved one is "in a better place". Yeah, that one kills me, too. I'm a selfish person when it comes to this. I want my grandfather back. I don't care that it was "God's will" to take him away from me. All that does is make me want to have some strong words with God.
I would also like to know why people ask you how you are, when they really don't care. I mean, why is it that our society has decided to make THAT our greeting. "Oh, hello. How are you Sally?" You don't care. If Sally were to answer you honestly and tell you what's happening in her life, you'd crucify her. You'd make fun of her. You might even remind yourself the next time that you saw Sally to NEVER ASK HER HOW SHE IS AGAIN. Well, I beg of you....why the hell did you ask then?
People often speak before they think. It's true. It's sad, but, true. We say things that other people have said to us. They said them, because someone said them to them before. And so on. I just wish that there was some way to stop all the stupidity. Say what you mean. Mean what you say. Be genuine. Be kind. Be honest. Be forgiving. Be sensitive. Otherwise----just be quiet!!!!
Take a deep breath------it's just another day in Perfect!!!!
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