I question my sanity at times. I also question other peoples sanity. The latter more often than for former. I wonder how two people can experience the same things, yet end up with two totally different perspectives. Now, I know that I've written about this before, but, it's just such an interesting topic. It shows itself in so many various ways that I feel compelled to revisit it.
How, for instance, can two people be in a relationship and only one of them seems to know that it's over? How can you both look at each other and not just "see" it? Can't you just "feel it", when the other person's not all there? Clearly, the answer is no. People are constantly shocked when their relationship ends. But, you know as well as I do that SOMEBODY knew it was over. Somebody saw it coming. Somebody felt the joy leaving. Felt the sorrow creeping in. Felt the love fading away. So what, I ask you, does that other person feel? Notice? See? It's so perplexing to me. I'm not sure how, exactly, people can be so damn clueless, and maybe more over, how they can be so UN-present in their own life? How do you keep on walking around with this person thinking that life's great? I mean....people usually give off signs. We're not that good at hiding our real feelings people. Come on. You just need to open your damn eyes and LOOK. I mean, really...really....really look at the person you love. Are they acting differently? Are they begging you for more time? More attention? More compassion? More----something----anything? Are you hearing them? Are you listening? Are you noticing that they just want to know that you're still in there and that you still love and see them? Or are you taking that request for MORE as an insult? Are you seeing it as a way of being told that you're not "enough"? Not doing enough. Not giving enough. Well, you might be right. That MIGHT be what the root of it is. Maybe you're NOT giving enough of yourself away. Maybe you're not really listening or hearing or seeing them. Or maybe, just maybe, you were never meant to be together at all and you're just trying to force two things to coexist that never will.
There are just some things in nature that react badly to each other. It's no one's fault. You can't blame the gasoline for kicking into high gear when the match is lit, can you? Or are you blaming the match for doing it's job by getting all "fiery"? Who's the one to blame there? Well, you could round and round and never really have the answer, right? Yet, we as people, want someone to blame. Someone to "take the fall" and be the bad guy. We want someone to hate, don't we? It's comforting to think that someone must have done something to deserve this, isn't it? Don't we all "take sides"? Even though, that match and that gasoline had no damn business in the same place at the same time, anyway.
It's the same with friendship. Sometimes, people just aren't good together. Oh, we try to force it, don't we? I know I do. I so desperately want to be liked by everyone that I disregard my own inner voice that says, "Um, you know that you're a lit match, right?" Right. "Um, and can you see that she's a big pool of glistening gasoline?" Right. I see no problem here!!! Then, I'm shocked when the explosion takes place. Hey, I never said that I was smart, okay? I just run head long into things, hoping and praying that somewhere, somehow, someway they're going to work themselves out. They rarely do. And who's to blame?
I suppose that that would depend on with whom you speak. I'm sure that the gas would blame the match and vice versa. Hell, maybe even the friends and family of said match would agree with her. I'm sure that the gasoline has some friends and family, too and, gasp, they'd probably take her side. So, again, I ask you.......how can people be so wrong sometimes? I mean, aren't they both lying to themselves if they feel that they had NO part in the explosion? But, aren't they also lying to themselves if they feel like the explosion was ALL they're fault? This can go both ways you know. There are those people out there (I won't mention any names....) that take all the blame on to themselves all the time. Just like those who can't seem to see their own liability in any situation. Again, they're BOTH wrong.
Was it wrong for the match and gasoline to even try to be friends in the first place? Perhaps. The sad truth is, you don't always know that you're gasoline. You're never really sure if you're the match, either. Separately, both are important and (fairly) safe. Gasoline serves a huge purpose in the world. Crucial to many, many people. Without heat, several of us would die each winter. Thus, fire (match) is equally important. Neither one is bad. Neither one meant for the explosion to happen. Ahhh, but, isn't that the rub of it? Put gasoline and spark together and POOF, something BIG'S bound to happen? They just didn't realize what they were working with. The chance that they were taking each and every day, just being together. Alas, they burned each other out. One hurting the other to the point of destruction.
How can people be so wrong, sometimes? How can you not see it? How can you not notice? How can I think it's all your fault and you think it's all mine? Where did it all go wrong? Maybe, it's because we started out as gasoline and a match. Doomed to consume each other and then die out.
Take a deep breath..............it's just another day in Perfect!!!!!!
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