Letter To My Daughter On Her 13th Birthday

My dearest, lovely, beautiful child-

You're at one of the first real crossroads of your life.  The place between childhood and womanhood.  This is a scary place to be.  I remember.  It is full of choices and changes.  Embrace them, my sweet daughter.  Make your mistakes.  Now.  When it's relatively safe to.  Let me help you pick up the pieces, when they fall where they may.  I know that you don't want me around all of the time anymore.  That's okay.  I'm honored to be there, whenever and however I can to help you "cross the road".   My hope for you is that the journey is as peaceful as is possible.  Fun enough to give you wonderful memories Successful enough that you feel accomplished.  With only enough pain to teach you to take the bitter with the sweet, and to appreciate the sweet!

I know that you feel as though you know everything right now.  You're right.  You do.  You know the important things.  You know to be kind to others.  You protect things that are smaller, weaker and younger than you are.  You look out for your friends and even some of your enemies.  Always, pet a puppy if given the opportunity.  Hold a baby with great care and a calm heart.  Always tell the truth, in the most tactful way possible.  The "sting" of getting into trouble for a truth is always less than the pain of getting caught in a lie.  You know to hold yourself accountable for what you're done.  Both the successes and the failures.  You know to eat good food and enjoy it!  You've learned how to laugh and have a good time, at no one else's expense.  You know to hold the door for an elderly man who's struggling to make it across the parking lot.  "Please" and "thank you" are a standard part of your vocabulary.  You know to always offer your help BEFORE someone needs it.  You're a beautiful, graceful person.

I wonder, though, what all you might not know, just yet?  You're still so sweet and innocent that you don't always know when someone isn't being honest with you.  You'll learn that along the way.  You'll learn "what you want to be when you grow up".  You'll figure out how to tell who a real friend is.  You'll learn what your style is and what you like in this big, bad world.   I wonder when you'll learn the joy of falling in love for the first time?  I wonder if I'll be strong enough to stand back and let you get your heart broken for the first time?  Standing back and watching you get hurt isn't a strength of mine.  Please be patient with me when I "step on your toes" and "intrude on your life".   I'm learning how to be the mother of a teenager, at the same time that you're learning how to be a teenager.   While I have years of experience at being a teenager, I have none at being the mother of one.  I'm curious to see how our relationship will change as we walk this road together.   Walking next to you as you meet each new milestone, will be the adventure of my life.  How will the events of your life shape you into the woman you are yet to become?  Can I ask you to be open to my guidance?  Can I tell you that what you don't know CAN hurt you?  Be wise in knowing what you don't know.  Be secure enough in yourself to ask for help when you don't know which way to turn.  I'm here to guide and support you along the way.

The beauty that this life has in store for you is beyond anything you can imagine.  You'll fall in and out of love and each time will be different.  Carry it's own "flavor" and "feelings".  Hold on to them all.  Remember how being in love feels.  Never allow yourself to be last in any relationship.  Giving yourself to someone shouldn't be at your own expense.  I pray that you can find the delicate balance between sharing your life with someone and giving yourself away.  I hope that you find a man that will love you for where you are today and tomorrow and forever.  Once you've found a partner in life, I can see you becoming an amazing mother.  You're playful heart and joyful nature will make you a "natural".  I hope that you can keep yourself whole and grounded during your journey through motherhood.  Seeing your baby girls face, for the first time, will take your breath away!  Trust me.  I know.

I pray that you see yourself as I see you.  Beautiful.  Sacred.  Confident.  Brilliant.  Kind.  Generous.  Creative.  Compassionate.  Strong.  Gentle.  Whole.  I pray that you know how much I love you.  Even when we're fighting and you THINK that you hate me.  I hope that you can read this letter and remember that I have your best interest at heart and would NEVER do anything to intentionally hurt you.  Ever.

I'm ready watch you finish you're time here in childhood.   All I ask is that you don't run from it, just yet.  You still have a "few good years" of being a kid left in you.  Don't chase it away.  Don't rush into being an adult.  You have the rest of your life to do that.  Take it slow.  Be thirteen for a while.  I'd say, about a year would work.  Then BE fourteen.  And so on.  Don't push through your life, always WAITING for the good parts.  THESE ARE THE GOODS PARTS!!!

With my unending, unwavering, everlasting love,


Mommy