I live in a box. So do you. Now, before you get all snobby on me and look around and say "This is so NOT a box!", hear me out. I live in a box and so do you. Your home is a box. Now that box might be 5000 square feet. It's still a box.
You have no idea what goes on inside of someone else's box. Ever. Don't think for a minute that your next door neighbor and quote unquote BEST friend doesn't do things inside her box that would shock you. Conversely, no one truly knows what goes on inside your box either. Even if you talk to said BFF twenty times a day, you still do not know what the inside of her box holds. There are times when that box is so stressed out and over heated that you could pop popcorn just by walking in the front door. You'd never know it though. Most people want to paint a pretty picture of what the inside of their box looks like. Most people want you to think that life is all peaches and cream and bliss and the like. Hopefully, most people are right. But even in that, there are secrets. Little behaviors that people save for their spouses or children. Small walls that are brought up the moment someone else enters the box, or we venture outside of it.
We're protected by our boxes. We need our boxes. Can you even imagine knowing all of those intimate little things about all of your friends, family....neighbors? No, thank you! See....I get it now. I understand that the "over sharing" part of me was really searching for something. Something that's impossible to find, externally; outside my box. I've come to thrive on the protection I get from my box. I've learnt to see it as a safe haven. A place to relish, not fear. As a child, my box wasn't very safe. Unfortunately, the "protection" that's afford to us by our boxes, can be hurtful. Sometimes --- it protects the wrong people. You see, can't we all "get away" with a lot...in side our box? I now understand that my need to "live in a glass house" came from my absolute terror at the idea of a secret. The notion that there could be something, anything, happening inside my box that the world didn't know about. I equated that with dishonesty and deceit. There again, though---it's because of what went on my private little "box", in the past, that has caused me so much heartache inside the box of today.
Those of us with, shall we say ----- larger boxes ------ might be tempted to look down our noses at those with a smaller box or a rented box or a literal box. Walk softly people. I know lots of people who have NO PLACE looking down their noses at anyone. Truly, I feel that pride does proceed a fall. Walk softly because "there but by the grace of God, go I", is a true statement. Walk softly; in someone else's shoes for a week. A month. A year. Don't think that just because they live down the block from your box that their box holds the same kind of love or warmth or compassion. Behind the fanciest of front doors, inside the largest boxes known to man -- there can be a cold wind blowing, continuously.
When you see that lady who's always depressed at the grocery store and want to run the other way, stop. Think about it. Why is she so sad? What has happened to her, inside of a box, that no one knows about? That she either can't or won't say? Yes, our boxes offer us protection, alright. They shelter us from the storm. They can also keep us from the daylight. They are supposed to be our "soft place to fall". For some of us, they're just a place TO fall. To never feel warmth or peace. For those of you who have been lucky enough to always have a warm, safe, calm, loving box ---- drop down on your knees right now and thank God. Then, once you get back up, examine your life. Think about those folks who you think you know. Think back to all those "little things", that have seemed --- odd. Desperate. Confusing. Hell, maybe they've even annoyed the hell out of you. Stop. Think. Realize. The inside of my box might not be as wonderful as yours. Maybe, it's ten times better. Let's just pretend that you don't know what goes on inside of anyone's box (because, frankly....you don't!). Can you be forgiving? Can you open up your heart to someone who you only think that you know? Can you accept the fact that just because you can't see what goes on "behind closed doors", doesn't mean that it's not real? That it doesn't mean that, even your best friend, might not be going through something that you know absolutely nothing about? Can you have the grace to love them --- anyway? After all, I love you; even though I have no idea what goes on.........inside your little box!
My wish for all of us, regardless of the size, shape, color or location of your box is to know; I mean, really, really know, to the depths of our soul that we never really know someone else. You're not inside their head. You're not even "inside the box" all the time. Even if you live together!! There are those quiet moments for each of us. Those moments in which we feel less than. Less than pretty. Less than smart. Less than kind. Less than successful. If you can greet each new day with the realization that the world is full of mystery and, much to my dismay, secrets, then maybe you'll also be able to greet each day as an opportunity to reach out to someone new. Someone outside your comfort zone. That person might be sitting at the desk next to you or that person could even be your spouse. My wish is that we could each see the wonder inside of the person, regardless of the box they hide in.
Take a deep breath...............it's just another day in Perfect!!!!!!
You have no idea what goes on inside of someone else's box. Ever. Don't think for a minute that your next door neighbor and quote unquote BEST friend doesn't do things inside her box that would shock you. Conversely, no one truly knows what goes on inside your box either. Even if you talk to said BFF twenty times a day, you still do not know what the inside of her box holds. There are times when that box is so stressed out and over heated that you could pop popcorn just by walking in the front door. You'd never know it though. Most people want to paint a pretty picture of what the inside of their box looks like. Most people want you to think that life is all peaches and cream and bliss and the like. Hopefully, most people are right. But even in that, there are secrets. Little behaviors that people save for their spouses or children. Small walls that are brought up the moment someone else enters the box, or we venture outside of it.
We're protected by our boxes. We need our boxes. Can you even imagine knowing all of those intimate little things about all of your friends, family....neighbors? No, thank you! See....I get it now. I understand that the "over sharing" part of me was really searching for something. Something that's impossible to find, externally; outside my box. I've come to thrive on the protection I get from my box. I've learnt to see it as a safe haven. A place to relish, not fear. As a child, my box wasn't very safe. Unfortunately, the "protection" that's afford to us by our boxes, can be hurtful. Sometimes --- it protects the wrong people. You see, can't we all "get away" with a lot...in side our box? I now understand that my need to "live in a glass house" came from my absolute terror at the idea of a secret. The notion that there could be something, anything, happening inside my box that the world didn't know about. I equated that with dishonesty and deceit. There again, though---it's because of what went on my private little "box", in the past, that has caused me so much heartache inside the box of today.
Those of us with, shall we say ----- larger boxes ------ might be tempted to look down our noses at those with a smaller box or a rented box or a literal box. Walk softly people. I know lots of people who have NO PLACE looking down their noses at anyone. Truly, I feel that pride does proceed a fall. Walk softly because "there but by the grace of God, go I", is a true statement. Walk softly; in someone else's shoes for a week. A month. A year. Don't think that just because they live down the block from your box that their box holds the same kind of love or warmth or compassion. Behind the fanciest of front doors, inside the largest boxes known to man -- there can be a cold wind blowing, continuously.
When you see that lady who's always depressed at the grocery store and want to run the other way, stop. Think about it. Why is she so sad? What has happened to her, inside of a box, that no one knows about? That she either can't or won't say? Yes, our boxes offer us protection, alright. They shelter us from the storm. They can also keep us from the daylight. They are supposed to be our "soft place to fall". For some of us, they're just a place TO fall. To never feel warmth or peace. For those of you who have been lucky enough to always have a warm, safe, calm, loving box ---- drop down on your knees right now and thank God. Then, once you get back up, examine your life. Think about those folks who you think you know. Think back to all those "little things", that have seemed --- odd. Desperate. Confusing. Hell, maybe they've even annoyed the hell out of you. Stop. Think. Realize. The inside of my box might not be as wonderful as yours. Maybe, it's ten times better. Let's just pretend that you don't know what goes on inside of anyone's box (because, frankly....you don't!). Can you be forgiving? Can you open up your heart to someone who you only think that you know? Can you accept the fact that just because you can't see what goes on "behind closed doors", doesn't mean that it's not real? That it doesn't mean that, even your best friend, might not be going through something that you know absolutely nothing about? Can you have the grace to love them --- anyway? After all, I love you; even though I have no idea what goes on.........inside your little box!
My wish for all of us, regardless of the size, shape, color or location of your box is to know; I mean, really, really know, to the depths of our soul that we never really know someone else. You're not inside their head. You're not even "inside the box" all the time. Even if you live together!! There are those quiet moments for each of us. Those moments in which we feel less than. Less than pretty. Less than smart. Less than kind. Less than successful. If you can greet each new day with the realization that the world is full of mystery and, much to my dismay, secrets, then maybe you'll also be able to greet each day as an opportunity to reach out to someone new. Someone outside your comfort zone. That person might be sitting at the desk next to you or that person could even be your spouse. My wish is that we could each see the wonder inside of the person, regardless of the box they hide in.
Take a deep breath...............it's just another day in Perfect!!!!!!
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