My husband and I went to go look at cars yesterday. Fun, right? Not. You know that that kind of a thing is SUPPOSED to be fun. Sounds fun. Might end up getting you a FUN car, but, the process itself. No where near fun. We went with a plan. A first for us. We had discussed ahead of time what we were looking for, what we required, what we would NOT accept, etc. We knew that this would be my car. My husband has a company truck and honestly, the only time that we all ride together somewhere is when we go out to eat, go to a party, you know social stuff. For the most part, I drive the car to and from the grocery store, the mall, the bank and drive my girls to and from the school, church and sleepovers. I don't really need a minivan anymore. Sniff, sniff......long gone are the days when my girls need to watch a movie to even drive across town because they're bored after 3 minutes.
So, we're pretty successful at the first dealership. We tell the guy straight away that we want 1) a lease for under $300 a month, 2) we may or may NOT be trading in our old car, because a friend of ours might be interested in buying it and 3) we want something nice, you know leather seats, push buttons that do fun things. Like my minivan. I have a really, really nice minivan. It does way more than your usual car does. It's like its own little house on wheels. Love, love, love the minivan. Don't, however, love that it takes $65 to fill it up, at the store where I get ten cents a gallon discount and the thing isn't really even on "E" yet. Not one bit. So, the first vulture, I mean car salesman, approaches us and we tell him straight away what we want, don't want, we don't want to waste a bunch of his or our time, I really just need to 'sit" inside the car to know if it's "a fit" or not. Truly, I'm buying a feeling, not acceleration. He gets it. We spent a little while there. . . . thank you very much. . . .we're out the door. Perfect.
Then. . . .we go to the next dealership. Hmph. Here's where the "Seriously. What were we even thinking?" comes into play. I mean, did we really think that it was going to go that smoothly the whole day? We had every intention of making it through every car dealership on "CAR ROW" and back home in time for dinner and Saturday evening Easter service at the church. Can you say. . . .wrong!!! We walk up, I would say that we walked in, but, you know that you never even get INTO the dealership before the sharks descend. Max walks up to us and says "Hello." Now, not that I care a whole bunch, but I always seem to get car salesmen who aren't from the US. There's always a bit of a language issue. Not truly a "barrier" but, there are just some things that the guys says that I honestly have no idea what mean. Hmmm. Probably not good, but, then again, what do you do? I mean, I can't exactly say..."Um, no. We want someone else." You get what you get and you don't throw a fit, right? (That's what I tell my kids all the time.) So, Max walks up and does the whole normal what can I help you with, blah, blah, blah. Things progress. Farther than we wanted. I end up test driving a car. No. Two cars. I had no intention of doing that. This guy is good.
Long story, long, he gets us to the point of "crunching numbers". You know. . ..the part that takes all damn day and never really gets anywhere. We finally get to the point where we decide, "Um, yeah. We wanna go home now." and these two fools won't let us leave. (Of course, the general manager has come into the cubicle to "close the deal".) We start going back and forth, back and forth. It's a painful tennis match of words that just isn't going to end well. Here's the glorious "little thing" that my husband did for me. He was on my side.
Nothing more than that. He just stood up for me. He didn't let these two men push me around. He realized that I was sacrificing too much with the "potential car" and didn't want me to settle. He wants me to have the best of everything. (His exact words....can I get a heavy sigh, ladies?? A fast beating heart?) He loves me. In that moment, I felt more loved and protected by him then I've felt in a long time. It was subtle. He wasn't loud or rude or a jerk. He was just mine. My wonderful husband. He refused to let me be bullied. He refused to let me be hurt, in any way. I nearly cried at the simple alliance between us. It was palpable to me. The whole room was outside of my perception. I couldn't hear anyone but him. I couldn't see anyone but him. I just wanted to jump into his arms and kiss him all over his face. I felt all warm inside. Kind of like my guts had turned to warm caramel.
It's amazing to me how loved I felt in that moment. How loved I still feel just thinking about it. He doesn't even understand what he did. I keep thanking him and loving on him and hugging him and feeling like warm caramel and he thinks I'm crazy. That's okay. I don't mind. He's mine. He loves me. He'll protect me. It's the little things that make or break a marriage. I've been with this man for 15 years (tomorrow) and he still never ceases to surprise me. To fascinate me. To become a new man, in my eyes. So, even though I didn't get a "new car", I got something so much more valuable; so rare and irreplaceable, I'll take it whenever I can find it. I got comfort. I got security. I felt safe. I felt loved. I felt treasured and adored. All because we DIDN'T buy a car. . . . .
Take a deep breath. . . . . ..it's just another day in Perfect!!!!!
So, we're pretty successful at the first dealership. We tell the guy straight away that we want 1) a lease for under $300 a month, 2) we may or may NOT be trading in our old car, because a friend of ours might be interested in buying it and 3) we want something nice, you know leather seats, push buttons that do fun things. Like my minivan. I have a really, really nice minivan. It does way more than your usual car does. It's like its own little house on wheels. Love, love, love the minivan. Don't, however, love that it takes $65 to fill it up, at the store where I get ten cents a gallon discount and the thing isn't really even on "E" yet. Not one bit. So, the first vulture, I mean car salesman, approaches us and we tell him straight away what we want, don't want, we don't want to waste a bunch of his or our time, I really just need to 'sit" inside the car to know if it's "a fit" or not. Truly, I'm buying a feeling, not acceleration. He gets it. We spent a little while there. . . . thank you very much. . . .we're out the door. Perfect.
Then. . . .we go to the next dealership. Hmph. Here's where the "Seriously. What were we even thinking?" comes into play. I mean, did we really think that it was going to go that smoothly the whole day? We had every intention of making it through every car dealership on "CAR ROW" and back home in time for dinner and Saturday evening Easter service at the church. Can you say. . . .wrong!!! We walk up, I would say that we walked in, but, you know that you never even get INTO the dealership before the sharks descend. Max walks up to us and says "Hello." Now, not that I care a whole bunch, but I always seem to get car salesmen who aren't from the US. There's always a bit of a language issue. Not truly a "barrier" but, there are just some things that the guys says that I honestly have no idea what mean. Hmmm. Probably not good, but, then again, what do you do? I mean, I can't exactly say..."Um, no. We want someone else." You get what you get and you don't throw a fit, right? (That's what I tell my kids all the time.) So, Max walks up and does the whole normal what can I help you with, blah, blah, blah. Things progress. Farther than we wanted. I end up test driving a car. No. Two cars. I had no intention of doing that. This guy is good.
Long story, long, he gets us to the point of "crunching numbers". You know. . ..the part that takes all damn day and never really gets anywhere. We finally get to the point where we decide, "Um, yeah. We wanna go home now." and these two fools won't let us leave. (Of course, the general manager has come into the cubicle to "close the deal".) We start going back and forth, back and forth. It's a painful tennis match of words that just isn't going to end well. Here's the glorious "little thing" that my husband did for me. He was on my side.
Nothing more than that. He just stood up for me. He didn't let these two men push me around. He realized that I was sacrificing too much with the "potential car" and didn't want me to settle. He wants me to have the best of everything. (His exact words....can I get a heavy sigh, ladies?? A fast beating heart?) He loves me. In that moment, I felt more loved and protected by him then I've felt in a long time. It was subtle. He wasn't loud or rude or a jerk. He was just mine. My wonderful husband. He refused to let me be bullied. He refused to let me be hurt, in any way. I nearly cried at the simple alliance between us. It was palpable to me. The whole room was outside of my perception. I couldn't hear anyone but him. I couldn't see anyone but him. I just wanted to jump into his arms and kiss him all over his face. I felt all warm inside. Kind of like my guts had turned to warm caramel.
It's amazing to me how loved I felt in that moment. How loved I still feel just thinking about it. He doesn't even understand what he did. I keep thanking him and loving on him and hugging him and feeling like warm caramel and he thinks I'm crazy. That's okay. I don't mind. He's mine. He loves me. He'll protect me. It's the little things that make or break a marriage. I've been with this man for 15 years (tomorrow) and he still never ceases to surprise me. To fascinate me. To become a new man, in my eyes. So, even though I didn't get a "new car", I got something so much more valuable; so rare and irreplaceable, I'll take it whenever I can find it. I got comfort. I got security. I felt safe. I felt loved. I felt treasured and adored. All because we DIDN'T buy a car. . . . .
Take a deep breath. . . . . ..it's just another day in Perfect!!!!!
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