Loss. It's a horrible word, isn't it? We lose those that we love. We lose friends. We lose our keys. We lose our pets. We lose our house. We lose our money. We lose our minds, perhaps. Can loss be a "good thing"? Is it possible that losing everything can bring you to a place of loving yourself more fully?
Loss can and does chisel away at us. It can break your spirit and leave you feeling empty inside. It can bring with it so much pressure and pain that you feel as if you're going to explode! I wonder though. . . . .could it possibly be responsible for all the growth in our lives? Can I say that I am who I am today BECAUSE of my losses? Yes, in fact, I can.
The pressure of losing my family has forced me to be a stronger, more independent woman. Something, I truly didn't think was even possible. I was already quite self sufficient. In fact, probably TOO self sufficient. It's not about that though, it's about being free from the nonsense that came with trying to please my family. Trying to pretend away a lifetime of sorrow and abuse. I was forced to play the ostrich and just stick my head into the sand and act as if that was normal behavior. My independence from that has been one of the most liberating experiences of my life. So, from the loss, I've gained a new sense of myself. My true self.
The agony that I felt when I lost my grandfather, taught me that there's an inherent risk to loving someone. It brought into sharp focus what, exactly happens when death reaches out and grabs our loved ones away from us. I learned this at seven years old. I carried that pain with me until I was 25. I kept it tucked away, safe from view of the outside world, yet; I couldn't even speak my grandfather's name without ripping the wound open and allowing my tears to pour out. When I was 25, I finally made the trek back to his graveside and said my final goodbye. I still miss him. I still hurt for him. What I learned from the loss was that I love deeply, fully and completely. Something, I'm grateful to know!
Being someone's "best friend" sets you up for all sorts of things. Loss, unfortunately, is one of them. What happens to you when they leave? When the move away? When the don't like you anymore? When you just simply grow apart? Loss. You feel it to your core. Loving deeply doesn't only apply to my family, but, to my friends, too. I care about them in every way. I want them to succeed. I want them to be happy, healthy and live a long, long time. Sometimes though, those feelings aren't mutual. Sometimes, people who we let into our lives don't fit, precisely. Sometimes, you grow apart. Sometimes, you just can't see eye to eye. Sometimes, they're aren't who you think they are at all. It would be nice to say that I've never experienced this, but, in fact, I have. I had someone whom I loved, like she was part of my family and we had to part ways. I was shattered. I left a piece of myself behind. A piece that, in the end, I've learned, I don't actually want or need anymore. This loss helped me realize what my limits are. That it's okay to set them and see it through to the end. I'm now ALLOWED to be dissatisfied with the way I'm being treated and actually DO something about it. Wow. Irreplaceable gift!!! Empowerment from loss.
I'm not saying that I'm loving all the loss in my life, especially right now.. .no, what I'm saying is that I truly think that I've become a healthier person through my losses. The pressure is creating a diamond, not destroying a chunk of coal. The pain is building my endurance. I can appreciate myself more now. I can appreciate my friends and what family I DO have left, more. I have a greater respect for those around me and, I hope, that they can have a greater respect for me, too. So, in the end. . .loss has been the one great "love" of my life. Without it, I wouldn't be who I am; where am I; who I'm supposed to be.
Take a deep breath. . . . .It's just another day in Perfect!!!!!
Loss can and does chisel away at us. It can break your spirit and leave you feeling empty inside. It can bring with it so much pressure and pain that you feel as if you're going to explode! I wonder though. . . . .could it possibly be responsible for all the growth in our lives? Can I say that I am who I am today BECAUSE of my losses? Yes, in fact, I can.
The pressure of losing my family has forced me to be a stronger, more independent woman. Something, I truly didn't think was even possible. I was already quite self sufficient. In fact, probably TOO self sufficient. It's not about that though, it's about being free from the nonsense that came with trying to please my family. Trying to pretend away a lifetime of sorrow and abuse. I was forced to play the ostrich and just stick my head into the sand and act as if that was normal behavior. My independence from that has been one of the most liberating experiences of my life. So, from the loss, I've gained a new sense of myself. My true self.
The agony that I felt when I lost my grandfather, taught me that there's an inherent risk to loving someone. It brought into sharp focus what, exactly happens when death reaches out and grabs our loved ones away from us. I learned this at seven years old. I carried that pain with me until I was 25. I kept it tucked away, safe from view of the outside world, yet; I couldn't even speak my grandfather's name without ripping the wound open and allowing my tears to pour out. When I was 25, I finally made the trek back to his graveside and said my final goodbye. I still miss him. I still hurt for him. What I learned from the loss was that I love deeply, fully and completely. Something, I'm grateful to know!
Being someone's "best friend" sets you up for all sorts of things. Loss, unfortunately, is one of them. What happens to you when they leave? When the move away? When the don't like you anymore? When you just simply grow apart? Loss. You feel it to your core. Loving deeply doesn't only apply to my family, but, to my friends, too. I care about them in every way. I want them to succeed. I want them to be happy, healthy and live a long, long time. Sometimes though, those feelings aren't mutual. Sometimes, people who we let into our lives don't fit, precisely. Sometimes, you grow apart. Sometimes, you just can't see eye to eye. Sometimes, they're aren't who you think they are at all. It would be nice to say that I've never experienced this, but, in fact, I have. I had someone whom I loved, like she was part of my family and we had to part ways. I was shattered. I left a piece of myself behind. A piece that, in the end, I've learned, I don't actually want or need anymore. This loss helped me realize what my limits are. That it's okay to set them and see it through to the end. I'm now ALLOWED to be dissatisfied with the way I'm being treated and actually DO something about it. Wow. Irreplaceable gift!!! Empowerment from loss.
I'm not saying that I'm loving all the loss in my life, especially right now.. .no, what I'm saying is that I truly think that I've become a healthier person through my losses. The pressure is creating a diamond, not destroying a chunk of coal. The pain is building my endurance. I can appreciate myself more now. I can appreciate my friends and what family I DO have left, more. I have a greater respect for those around me and, I hope, that they can have a greater respect for me, too. So, in the end. . .loss has been the one great "love" of my life. Without it, I wouldn't be who I am; where am I; who I'm supposed to be.
Take a deep breath. . . . .It's just another day in Perfect!!!!!
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