I've often heard that you "never regret the things that you do, but the things that you don't". Now don't get me wrong, I'm sure that that's true in a lot of cases. I'm sure that it's possible that, one day, I'll look back and think, "Damn, I really wonder what my life would of, could of, should of been like, had I accepted that VP position with Ohio Casualty?" But, I can honestly say. . . I regret a ton of shit that I've done.
I regret the ice cream that calls to me, that I usually answer with "YES, please. I'll take two scoops!" I regret wasting a lot of my life trying to please everybody else and, in the end, never succeeding. I regret the times that I've hurt people, whether by action or inaction. I regret that I couldn't find a more productive use of my energy than to harm another. I regret all those times that I didn't speak up for myself and let people walk all over me. I regret all the time that I wasted with people who really didn't deserve my time, love, affection, friendship and energy. I regret that I didn't "kick them to the curb" years ago. I regret that I didn't, okay, to be honest here --- that I STILL DON'T have the BALLS to tell that crazy bitch that she's crazy and to get the fuck out of my life!! Whoa. Where did that come from? Anyway. . . .I regret that I didn't have enough strength the first time a man hurt me to turn around and kick his ASS!! I regret that I haven't spent every second of my sweet daughters' lives worshipping them. I regret that I've misfocused (my word of the day, y'all. Embrace it.) so much of my energy OUTWARD and didn't leave enough inside to really love my husband or myself. I regret that I've let what other people think of me mean more to me than what I think of me.
So. Where does all this leave me? Full of regrets. . .one might say? Nah. Not really. The revelation here is this ---- I know it. I know it all. . . . now. I've been lucky enough to realize all of this in time. I'm still young. Okay. Okay. . .young-ISH (another word of the day. Embrace, remember?) I feel blessed to KNOW that I don't want to be the VP of Ohio Casualty's anything. I won't waste my time on that crazy bitch, because, well, SHE'S CRAZY!!! I've stopped trying to please everyone else. (For the most part. . .this one is tough people. Believe me. It is!!) I'm working on focusing my energy on mine. My children. My husband. My- gulp - self. I will NEVER allow a man to hurt me again! (Can I get a "YOU GO GIRL!" Or something??) I'm remembering to live in the moment with my girls. To really focus on them. See them. Love them. TEACH them. Mold them into the women that I know they can be. I'm allowing them to teach me how to be the Mom that THEY need.
Now, the ice cream still calls to me. So does the chocolate cake, chocolate bar, chocolate chip cookies. (You see the trend here.) But, it IS getting easier and easier to ignore them. Now, it wouldn't feel right to COMPLETELY ignore them, but, alas, I can "visit" them. . .less often. I've started to see the value in me. That I, indeed, do deserve to be healthy and happy. Finding the balance between chocolate and the elliptical is my next "goal".
Perhaps my most significant "revelation" has been the energy that I put into other people. I've become quite selective of the folks whom I choose to spend my precious time. My precious energy. My 'words of wisdom" (okay, don't puke or click that nasty little "x" in the upper right hand corner. . .you know what I mean!) I'm just being VERY careful whom I "let in". Whom I love. Whom I allow to be an influence in my life. I'm choosing to surround myself with wonderful, healthy, adult, mature, loving, like minded, beautiful (in every way) women. They honestly feed my soul. My spirit has never felt so at home. Even though several of the friendships are "new" and very fragile. I feel confident that they will be honest. Humbling. Empowering. Loving. --------- Something I will NEVER regret.
Take a deep breath. . . .It's just another day in Perfect!!!!!
I regret the ice cream that calls to me, that I usually answer with "YES, please. I'll take two scoops!" I regret wasting a lot of my life trying to please everybody else and, in the end, never succeeding. I regret the times that I've hurt people, whether by action or inaction. I regret that I couldn't find a more productive use of my energy than to harm another. I regret all those times that I didn't speak up for myself and let people walk all over me. I regret all the time that I wasted with people who really didn't deserve my time, love, affection, friendship and energy. I regret that I didn't "kick them to the curb" years ago. I regret that I didn't, okay, to be honest here --- that I STILL DON'T have the BALLS to tell that crazy bitch that she's crazy and to get the fuck out of my life!! Whoa. Where did that come from? Anyway. . . .I regret that I didn't have enough strength the first time a man hurt me to turn around and kick his ASS!! I regret that I haven't spent every second of my sweet daughters' lives worshipping them. I regret that I've misfocused (my word of the day, y'all. Embrace it.) so much of my energy OUTWARD and didn't leave enough inside to really love my husband or myself. I regret that I've let what other people think of me mean more to me than what I think of me.
So. Where does all this leave me? Full of regrets. . .one might say? Nah. Not really. The revelation here is this ---- I know it. I know it all. . . . now. I've been lucky enough to realize all of this in time. I'm still young. Okay. Okay. . .young-ISH (another word of the day. Embrace, remember?) I feel blessed to KNOW that I don't want to be the VP of Ohio Casualty's anything. I won't waste my time on that crazy bitch, because, well, SHE'S CRAZY!!! I've stopped trying to please everyone else. (For the most part. . .this one is tough people. Believe me. It is!!) I'm working on focusing my energy on mine. My children. My husband. My- gulp - self. I will NEVER allow a man to hurt me again! (Can I get a "YOU GO GIRL!" Or something??) I'm remembering to live in the moment with my girls. To really focus on them. See them. Love them. TEACH them. Mold them into the women that I know they can be. I'm allowing them to teach me how to be the Mom that THEY need.
Now, the ice cream still calls to me. So does the chocolate cake, chocolate bar, chocolate chip cookies. (You see the trend here.) But, it IS getting easier and easier to ignore them. Now, it wouldn't feel right to COMPLETELY ignore them, but, alas, I can "visit" them. . .less often. I've started to see the value in me. That I, indeed, do deserve to be healthy and happy. Finding the balance between chocolate and the elliptical is my next "goal".
Perhaps my most significant "revelation" has been the energy that I put into other people. I've become quite selective of the folks whom I choose to spend my precious time. My precious energy. My 'words of wisdom" (okay, don't puke or click that nasty little "x" in the upper right hand corner. . .you know what I mean!) I'm just being VERY careful whom I "let in". Whom I love. Whom I allow to be an influence in my life. I'm choosing to surround myself with wonderful, healthy, adult, mature, loving, like minded, beautiful (in every way) women. They honestly feed my soul. My spirit has never felt so at home. Even though several of the friendships are "new" and very fragile. I feel confident that they will be honest. Humbling. Empowering. Loving. --------- Something I will NEVER regret.
Take a deep breath. . . .It's just another day in Perfect!!!!!
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