Are you the kind of person who doesn't take "no" for an answer? Are you the kind of person who always "gets your way"? Are you able to force your will down peoples throats? Are you unable to see past your own desires to notice the "little guys' throat you're standing on? Wait. This took an ugly turn, didn't it?
I'm challenging all you "Alphas" out there.......is THAT what you really are? Or are you.....well, to put it simply just a bitch? (Still the "top dog" in my book!!)
I want you to really stop and take a long, hard look at yourself. Do you stomp all over other people? Is it hard for you to listen to criticism? Even harder to acknowledge that you're.....gulp....wrong? Are you so busy pointing out every one else's flaws that you fail to notice your own? I ask you........could this be your defense mechanism?
Is it possible that, under al that tough bitchy exterior, you're really just scared? Terrified that someone might get 'inside' and hurt you? Or worse.....oh no.......see that you're just as fucked up as the rest of us!!! Blasphemy, I know.
I've really had the occasion recently, to take a step back. Look at the people in my life through new eyes; clearer eyes. Let's say that I've had "lasik" on my "persona viewing system. What a view it is!!! I've come to see that, those people whom I earlier thought of as "tough as nails" and "uber confident" aren't really either one. I've noticed that those of us that, some would call "wimps", couldn't been further from reality. I've started to notice the nuance of words. Behaviors. Call it wisdom. Call if intuition. Call if perception. Call it bullshit. I really don't care.
There. I said it. I.....shocking news to some......don't care what you think. Now, this really is new!! Usually, I'm NOT the Alpha. No one would accuse me of being pushy, or "in your face". I'm quite the people pleaser. The "yes" woman. My "lasik" has made it clear to me, that this was MY defense mechanism. I want to be liked. I want you to like me. Hell, I want EVERYONE to like me. Or, at least I did. Now, I can honestly say......let me clear my throat for this one......'I DO NOT GIVE A SHIT IF YOU LIKE ME!!" Woo-hoo!!!! That was liberating. And also........a total lie. Of course, I care if you like me, I've just stopped letting, whether or not everyone likes me, all the time, be the deciding factor on how my day goes. Or week. Hell, month! I used to go on and on about how unfair it is that those "Alpha Bitches" didn't understand me; didn't know me; didn't WANT to know me. Now, I'm thankful. You see, "AB" (Alpha Bitchiness) is contagious. Supremely so.
"AB" rubs off on us non-Alphas. It's funny really. The carriers of "AB", don't WANT you to get it because then, well, let's be honest......you just might over bitch them. You might cause a revolt and take over their "AB" carrier position. Unheard of!!! But, when anyone spends any amount of time with a "AB" carrier, they can't help but get infected. I found myself starting to hate my life. Strange? I found myself feeling less than adequate at.......well, everything. A sure sign of "AB" syndrome. Ironically enough, I couldn't get enough "ABS" (Alpha Bitch Syndrome, for those of you who haven't figured it out yet......). Interesting? It was like I needed to be infected with more every single day. I didn't know who I was without a bit of that ABS running through my system. Scary.
Now, those of you who might be carriers of "ABS", I suppose the real question is this......do you even care? I would wager, not so much. This is the next thing that I've noticed: ABSC (Alpha Bitch Sydrome Carriers.....isn't this fun??) don't care who they infect. All they care about is the never ending supply of people, waiting in line to be infected. See, for whatever reason ABSC's seem to be irresistible to us non-ABSC's. We seek them out, every bit as much as they seek us out. A moth to the flame, perhaps? See non-ABSC's see the ABSC as strong and independent and we see ourselves as pathetic and wishy washy and weak. Now....hmmmm......let's stop an analyze this for a minute. Is any part of that feeling, true? You bet your sweet ass it is. ABSC's are confident. Overly so, usually. Non-ABSC's are wishy washy. We do FEEL pathetic because we're conditioned by, wait for it....ABSC's to believe that we ARE pathetic. And round and round we go, ladies!! Now, does the carrier care what carnage is left over after they've infected a non-ABSC and then moved on to their next victim? Doubtful.
The ABSC is so trained to just keep on, keepin' on, that they don't usually stop and recognize their own pattern. After all, the Alpha is an Alpha for a reason. Take no prisoners. Make no apologies, right? When was the last time you saw an Alpha Wolf feel badly for making the kill? Yeah, right?! I ask you though, is THAT how you want to be known? Is being so tough that you never get hurt really the answer? Is seeing people as disposable or, at a minimum easily replaced, a good thing? Don't you just want to drop that heavy load you're carrying? Wouldn't it be nice to just sit back and let someone truly, really, deeply openly know and love you? Without being afraid of how vulnerable that makes you? Without having to ruin that person, because they just might hurt you first or worse even, tell someone that you're flawed, too? Couldn't you see the ABSC as All the Bull Shit I'm Carrying? (Did you like that one???)
Now, I realize that this is a suggestion coming from the "weaker" Non-ABSC and that that in and of itself might turn you off to taking the advice, but, don't do it for me. Do it for yourself. Do it for your daughters. Let other women know that you can be cured of ABSC and move on. It's not too late.
Take a deep breath.......it's just another day in Perfect!!!
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