Do you know when to speak up and when to keep your mouth closed? Now, I know what you're probably thinking. "Of course, I do!". Chances are; you're wrong. I mean, let's think about it for just a minute or two. If everyone really did know when to speak up and when to be quiet, then why are so many of us unhappy? I ask you, do you think that you'd feel better if you really knew the moments to stand up for yourself? The moments in which, you're truly being trod upon. The moments when, even by mistake, someone has hurt your feelings or crossed your invisible line? How many times have you hurt someone, and then indirectly yourself, by talking out of turn? Oh, how many, many times I wish that I would have just kept my damn mouth shut! Zillions, at least.
So, no. I say. Hell, no. People really don't KNOW when to do either one of these things. For comparison sake, let's use driving as an example. Now, come on.....you know that you sit in your car in traffic and, at a minimum, think to yourself 'Why doesn't ANYONE know how to drive?". Same concept. EVERYONE thinks this. Thus, everyone THINKS that THEY can drive, but, alas, no one else can. If everyone could only drive as well as I do, the world we be a more perfect place! Right? Again, you see the point. If everyone thinks this, then how can everyone also be bad drivers? Bling. (That's the little light bulb over your head lighting up.) Now, we're cooking with gas.
You can see the problem. Everyone thinks that they have tact. (Well, okay, not EVERYONE. My husband for example is well of aware he has NO tact. He doesn't fake it. He doesn't even try to pretend that he does. He is, I believe, the exception.) I find that having tact is kind of like driving. Everyone thinks that their way is the best way. I also find that standing up for oneself, falls into this same category. There are right ways and there are wrong ways, to get your point across and ensure that you're not being treated like crap. Again, I find that the people who REALLY speak their mind are equivalent to those aggressive drivers. You know the ones. The guy who changes lanes 15 times in a 1/4 mile and goes 82 miles an hour between stop lights and then flips you off when need to get over to turn left. Tact would be his brake pedal and he hasn't seen or felt that puppy in years!!
Now here are the million dollar questions: 1) how do you know if you're driving like a wild woman with your hair on fire and 2) how do you find your brake pedal if you are? Who's going to tell you to "slow down"? Take a look at the scenery? Enjoy the drive?
I wish that learning how to say the right thing at the tight time, was as easy as learning to drive. I wish that there was some wonderful instruction book that would just tell everyone how to act. Unfortunately, there's not. Unfortunately, we leave the decision making process to each individual. This is why there are so many accidents, each and every day. This is why you're insurance rates are so high. Hell, this could be why you've lost your license in the past. We all make bad decisions!! We drive too fast. (Speak before we think.) We ignore the inconvenient stop sign. (Don't "notice" peoples subtle cues that we've gone too far.) We don't use a turn signal when we switch lanes. Isn't this road ALL MINE? (Selfishness is rampant.)
All I can suggest is this. Drive slowly. (THINK before you say something. Especially if it's something that might hurt someone else.) Always share the road. (It's NOT all about you!) Stop a full, three seconds prior to pulling into the intersection. (Pay attention to what folks around you are saying to you. Whether directly or with their body language.)
Take a deep breath......I'm watching out for bad drivers in Perfect.
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