So, I was reminiscing today. You know how that goes; sometimes it's good and sometimes....well. Not so much. I'd like to say that my past is all sweetness and light. Perfection and glory days. "The best time of my life" and all that crap. Uh-huh. NOT!
One of the things that I have really noticed during my "retrospection", is this---females seem to have a hard time in a threesome. Now, before you click the little "X" in the upper right hand corner and move on, let me be clear here. Girls have a hard time having two BFF's at a time. It's not really too bad if there are four or five girls that all hang out. It's usually pretty good when you just have "each other" to lean on. Throw just one more lady in the mix and, unfortunately, drama ensues.
I can track this back to my middle school days even. I had a wonderful friend and she had another wonderful friend. It seemed logical that if I'm friends with Jenny, I should be able to be friends with Bethany. Seems an easy enough concept. If I like you and you like her then, logically, she and I should like each other, too. Right? WRONG!!! Well, not really wrong........just different! (I threw that in for my Love and Respect folks!!)
On the surface, I was able to be friends with Jenny and Bethany all through seventh and eighth grade. It wasn't until years later, that Jenny reminded me of a event that happened during our eighth grade year. Shocking. And here I thought that we all loved and trusted each other!
One day when we were out of school (I can't recall if it was just a day off or over a longer break, i.e. summer or spring break) and I was at home, taking care of my sisters and the house, like I always did. Knock, knock, knock on the door. I go to see who it is and am shocked to find Bethany's boyfriend, Elijah. Hm? Now, at that moment, a huge red flag should have been raised over my head. Hell, a flashing neon sign should have gone off. It didn't. Call it naiveté. Call me a schmuck. Whichever.
I was shocked yet happy to see him. I had NO EARTHLY NOTION why he'd be at my house. I invited him in and wasn't really sure what in the world we were going to do now. Well, I didn't have long to wait. About three minutes after Elijah appeared at my door, I hear yet another 'knock, knock, knock'. Before I can even head to the door, I'm told "Oh no! What if it's Bethany?" Um....SO??? He then instructs me to "lie". 'If it IS her', he tells me, 'you can't tell her that I'm here.' Um...WHY??
So, here I go.....headed to the front door. No thought in my mind that it could even BE Bethany. I mean, come on, what are the odds that two random people, who've never been to my house before would show up within three minutes of each other? Apparently, pretty damn good!! Lo and behold, I open the door and find, not only, Bethany, but Jenny, too! Isn't it my lucky fucking day??!!??? I now have all of my best friends over for a visit. WOO-HOO! Score. I couldn't be happier. Bliss.
Before I even open the screen door to let the duo in, I say "You'll never guess who's here?" Insert a big fat DUH, here. She 'looks' confused and innocent. "Who?" Bethany says. "Elijah!" I exclaim. Funny thing was, her face dropped, instead of lifted. Confusing. I couldn't imagine why she would look that way. Although, with how often she and Elijah fought, I thought that, perhaps they were on the "outs", yet again.
In the pair walk and I go to find Elijah who, at this point, was "hiding" in my kitchen. Perplexing. he comes out of the kitchen. Says an awkward "hello" to the two girls and we proceed to stand around for all of 2 minutes, stare at each other and then, suddenly, everyone has to leave. Odd. I beg them all to stay. I mean, they're all my besties, right? Shouldn't we all take advantage of this wonderful coincidence and just 'hang'? Can I get a resounding---How dense are you woman??? Much to my chagrin the three of them head out the door as quickly as they headed into it.
I remember thinking how odd this whole event was, but, understood that they had "walked a long way from Jenny's house" and that they "had to get back" before her Father got angry. Believable. Fast forward to my senior year of high school. Jenny and I are confessing things to each other. You know, ladies, as you do.....and she confesses that she and Bethany were trying to trap me. Gasp!
Bethany believed that I wanted her boyfriend. (Can I get a --- HELL NO!!??) She came up with an "ingenious" way to "prove" her suspicion. Let's set up our friend and catch her in a lie. I can imagine how frustrated she must have been when I, didn't PLAY ALONG.
Now, the point of this is so multilayered, I'm not even sure that I can do it justice. First and possibly foremost is this--- why does it seem that women always do this too each other? Why oh why can't we all just get along? Naive. Perhaps. I've had this same experience (well, okay not this EXACT same experience, but you know what I mean.) played out over and over again. Always, when there are three women involved. There always seems to be a 'ring leader'. Someone who always wants to drive a wedge between girl 2 and 3 or 3 and 1 or 1 and 2 or....oh you get it. It's always a hot mess. I've never been lied about or to, more than when it was another woman's friendship, perceived to be, on the line. I don't even think woman would stoop so low to keep a man. Come between them and their friend and watch out. Here come the claws ---- knives, if you're not careful!
There are few places that I've experienced this more than in Perfect. Perfect ladies have brought a whole new definition to "back stabbing" and "conniving". To be fair, I have met SEVERAL amazing Perfect women. I love them dearly. I wouldn't trade them for 4 wonderful husbands. Fantastic. However, I've never felt so betrayed or hurt as I have by these women.
Now, here comes the juicy center people: I wouldn't have it any other way. I'm thankful for these crazy bitches. I'm glad that they stabbed me in the back, or the front, for that matter. I'm honestly thrilled. I would never have known who my real friends were. I would never have been able to spot a crazy bitch at thirty paces, like I can now, if it wasn't for these "Perfect" crazy bitches. They, truly were, perfect. Perfect for me. The perfect examples of what a friend isn't. I learned some amazingly important lessons. Enlightening.
So, the next time, you get that little tingle or tickle in the back of your brain; telling you something is WRONG with this scenario, IT PROBABLY IS!!! Listen to your inner voice people. It rarely lies.
Take a deep breath.......it's just another day in Perfect!!
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